In order to experience sexual pleasure, you need to learn more about sensual pleasure. And both require you to BE in your body and calm the chatter that’s happening in your mind. The more you can do that… the more sensual and sexual pleasure you’ll experience in your intimate exchanges.
Women and pleasure is a subject that needs more attention. But pleasure is found in the body… not in the mind. So women and pleasure involves being in your body.
Recently I was asked by a student at a workshop of mine…
What do you mean by “in your body?”
It was really great for me to have my student ask that. I realized how many people have probably never even experienced being in their bodies. As a culture we live so much up in our heads, analyzing and perceiving life through our minds.
I’ve spent most of my life doing anything that I can to “get out of my head” and “be in my body” because that’s where I always find peace. It takes time energy and effort. Yoga, deep breathing and sacred dance have been my great tools to get me there. Otherwise, I find myself worrying, obsessing and overthinking about things and it causes unnecessary stress, especially in my intimate relationship.
Sexual Pleasure and Understanding What Gets in the Way
Not clearing your mind regularly causes disaster in bed. My mind is like a race track and just doesn’t quit.
I’ve been told by past lovers…
- “You have a bee in your bonnet.”
- “You can’t do enough exercise to get out of your head.”
- “Boy, are you emotional.”
I don’t know if women realize how much they are spending and living their lives up in their heads… intellectualizing, pondering, fearing, worrying, creating intense emotions etc. The effect…. challenges in experiencing sexual pleasure in bed!
Your mind is FAST, FURIOUS and FILLED with Activity
Moreso than men. It’s just the way we were designed. That’s why if you, as a woman want to experience intimate sexual pleasure with your partner it’s import to know the difference between being in your head versus your body. That’s a good start.
Answering the Question — What it Means to Be in Your Body
- If you’re intimate with your partner and you’re worried about the kids coming in, laundry, a deadline at work, etc., then you’re in your head and not in your body. And you’re missing out on pleasure.
- Or, if you’re intimate with your partner and you’re worried about how your body looks instead of how your body feels, then you’re in your head and not in your body. And again… you’re missing out on pleasure.
As a woman you really need to find ways, much more so than men, to SLOW DOWN and get your mind to rest. The idea of women and pleasure doesn’t just happen. Women need to create the proper environment to experience true pleasure.
Believe it or not… yoga is a great way to improve your sex life. It’s because yoga is a great tool to calm your mind. If you’re not into yoga here are some other things you can do to get “out of your mind” and BE in your body.
8 Effective Ways to Slow the Mind Down
- Put your hands on your belly and belly breathe
- Take a bath as you listen to calming music
- Pay attention to your breath
- Process your emotions
- Do a guided meditation
- Take a Yoga class
- Walk in nature
- Journal
See which of the above practices work for you. Make them part of your daily lifestyle.
What resonated most with you in this article and why? What can you apply in your life right now?
Leave a comment below and let me know what you think when it comes to women and pleasure. Thousands of other women come here each week for inspiration, information and wisdom. Your comment may provide support to someone else and be exactly what they needed to hear.
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I’m Anna-Thea, an author and Divine Feminine educator. I educate women on the importance of honoring their emotions and claiming their bodies as sacred. Check out my online courses that give you the tools you need to create more fulfilling relationships.
